New Mom-ologue from Deb Williams

Up at 6:30 with the kids to get everyone off to school with their lunches stacked into over stuffed bags and their agendas stacked with their over stuffed day. Not my doing. I would have them still knotted in their sweaty sheets for hours. In High School all you can hope for is that you will catch a glimpse of the loves of your life at a moment when their mood matches yours. It doesn’t have to be a good mood. A shared bitch is a very satisfying experience, as long as it’s not at each other. That’s a different category of moment together and I’ve taken to avoiding them at all costs. I slip into other rooms as soon as my daughter enters what use to be my domain. If she’s in the kitchen, it’s all hers. I was never in the living room if she finds her way there in one of her mood. I can’t really call them moods any more because they are more of her new demeanor. The positive moments between us are sparse and spaced. And I get sucked in! Every time my little heart starts to pitter. She sneaks up behind me in the garden and suddenly dangles at an awkward angle from my stalkie body. I stagger and settle, taking her weight. Off course I can hold her. No matter how much bigger she gets, I will hold her and my mind beams with the excitement that she needs me. She likes me again. And that’s the tiny dangerous thought. AGAIN. I am swept away… again. To the dream teen land. She and I sit with tea discussing books and boys, planning her future. Me always saying YES. But she doesn’t want me to say yes. She wants me to fight, forbid and dress in something…else. Anything else. Out relationship has become a TV sit com cliché We’re the bohemian family with the offspring who yearns to be a banker. It was funny to look at but is hurtful to live. Her words cut me. Her opinions bruise. And I am not to make anything of it. Accept it and know that she will return to me in years. And in the odd moment in the dangling garden.

In Scotland!

Here is our designer, Pam Johnson, with the poster for the Scottish production of the show. This premiered in Scotland in the spring of last year and was also a big success for the Mom's the Word 2 collective. Pam designed both the set and costumes for the Arts Club production as well as the productions of the show in Scotland and Austrailia in 2006!

Scottish Bitchinators Eat Breakfast 2006

From Left: Amanda Bevveridge, Carole Anders, Barbara Pollard, Roy Surette, Leslie Mackie and Estrid Barton

"Having brekkie in our costumes."

Mum's the Word: Teenagers!

Barbara Pollard, Carole Andrews, Leslie Mackie, Amanda Beveridge and Estrid Barton

...of Mom's the Word 2 Unhinged, called Mums the Word: Teenagers! in Scotland.

The show was produced in the spring of 2006 with one original "Mom" (Barbara) and four Scottish actresses, pictured above.

New Story from Deborah Williams

GOOD FRIENDS OR BAD: good neighbourhood, no friends

We live in a wonderful little neighbourhood very quaint and community minded. Terrific place to raise our children -- only there are no kids to play with. Oh of course there’s Shannon and Shaun but they’re in day care 5 days a week and there’s Max, two doors over, but he’s very... aggressive. And Candice, is completely non verbal, and she spends most of her time with Andrea who’s in a sand/rock/stick throwing phase. I don’t want to get involved with that. Emma is into those girlie-girl games and Jessie was so rude to me at the family dinners, I don’t want that kind of behavior rubbing off. I understand Nelson and Graham’s older sister has been quite a handful at the high school for the last couple of years. Where’s that coming from? Andre and Daniel eat a great deal of junk food, Jean Luc has exema....
In any case it’s tough to be so isolated but I know they’ll make lots of new friends when they start school. (fade out) of course I’m thrilled that the little terror Henry’s birthday is in January and will be the year behind....and I heard that Kaya and Roo are bussing out of district, thank goodness, and with any luck those hippy kids down the street will either be home schooled or go to that touchy-feely place.......

New Story from Deborah Williams

KIDS AND FAITH: nomads

My husband and I are committed atheists and believe me this is hard because my children are sacred nomadic pioneers living in a vast spiritual desert desperately divining for an oasis of hallowed wisdom.
Now if we went to church, temple or synagogue, questions like "Where does God Live?" or "What is my soul?" would be a breeze. As it is "What happens when we die?" requires open ended inclusive discussions about Cycles of Life, Purgatory, and funeral pyres, lengthy trips to the library to explore time honoured rites and rituals and endless homemade attempts at festivals and celebrations. It’s a sacred smorgasbord everyday of the year to try and quench their little celestial thirst.
We’re thinking of joining a church to take the pressure off.

New Story from Deb Williams

CAUGHT IN THE ACT: phone sex

Troy’s 13. He’s home after school for an hour before I’m home from work . It's always been an important time for him. When he was smaller it meant he got this special one on one time with granny, and now that he feels old enough to be alone he usually finishes his home work so we have time to be together when I get home.
The other day I arrived home to a substantially larger phone bill than I’m use to. I discovered 50 dollars worth of phone charges ... calls made to a certain 1 900 number during that "special" time. After a long prying and wrenching discussion I managed to dislodge his confession. He’s been spending a fair bit of time on his new...hobby.
I’m staying calm. He’s not a degenerate he just doesn’t understand. We've worked out a repayment schedule and had thorough discussions about the sex trade and it's inevitable route to despair,destruction and death . I’ve enrolled him in afternoon piano, gymnastics, and hockey, and things have been running really smoothly. We’ve had a few hurdles, to overcome, like the stress of overlapping activities, a fractured arm in soccer ....and this month’s 300 dollar phone bill.

New Story from Jill Daum

STRENGTH IN ADVERSITY

I thought I could get closer to my kids if we liked some of the same things. I tried joining a soccer league but I pulled my hamstring. While attempting to surf I got stuck in my wetsuit. And when I entered the same store as them, they disowned me.
Then one Sunday while driving over to Grandma’s for dinner this song came on the radio and we simultaneously all yelled “That Sucks”. We went on and on about how awful it was. Imitating the singer and laughing our heads off. It was great. It’s way too hard to find anything all three of us like, but something all three of us hate? Easy. I just have to bring up our neighbour’s Speedo, Nickleback, or my husband’s mustache … and we are instantly one big happy family.

This piece was edited out for the recent tour, so here it is now!

JILL – THE HIT

Hockey arena sound through out

We don’t get out much. When we all go to watch my son play hockey, that’s “a family outing”. When my daughter has a hissy fit about going and my husband and I attend alone , that’s “a date”.

He plays at a high level, and the games are exciting. As soon as the puck drops, I start screaming.
“Go Red! Skate! Skate!”
On my son’s second shift he charges a boy and gets a penalty. It was a pretty rough hit.
The parents from the other team steal glances at us. I know it was a bad hit, but he’s a smaller player. He’s supposed to “physical”, so he has to pump himself up to hit some of those giants. Then when he’s in that state his judgement gets impaired . It’s tough. “Hit Hard”, but only between here and here. (Gesturing between chest and thigh)
Penalty’s over, he’s back on the ice. “Pass! Pass!”
Just then my son charges again. What is he doing? The boy he is aiming for sees him and turns, so he hits him hard……late……from behind…..and the boy’s head (sound of head hitting wood) hits the boards, He goes down….and he doesn’t get up.
The parents from the other team start screaming. “Kick him out! Get that kid outta here!”
My son is thrown out of the game. But the boy is still face down on the ice. I try to stand but my knees buckle. I feel like I might throw up.
My son is watching from behind the bench. He waiting to see if the boy is going to be okay. I walk to someplace out of sight to wait. Wait. He’s still down. I’ve always worried, what if my son gets hurt. He’s had concussions so bad that we’ve taken him straight from the ice to emergency, but he’s never hurt some one else. Not like this.
Finally the boy begins to rise. Everyone bangs the boards with their sticks to show their support. Including my son.
I find my husband. “What if that boy had been seriously hurt?”
“He wasn’t.”
“I know that , but what if he was?”
“He wasn’t.”
We sit down, watch the rest of the game, and go home.

The Official Info...

THE HYSTERICAL SEQUEL IS BACK! BY THE MOM'S THE WORD 2 COLLECTIVE
April 30 – June 9, 2007 GRANVILLE ISLAND STAGE

After a successful run last season the creators of Mom’s the Word 2 are back. Older and wider, this time they bring their tales of torment and teenagers! The Moms tackle trickier tests and raging hormones with intense humour, bringing everyone back into the fray of the world’s oldest unpaid profession. And don’t worry if you haven’t seen the first Mom’s the Word—or if you aren’t a mom. You’ll still find that you only relate to EVERYTHING!

Critics love Mom’s the Word 2: Unhinged:“The moms are off again on hilarious tangents” ~Peter Birnie, Vancouver Sun

“Stellar play about raising teens shares hilarious truths” ~Jerry Wasserman, The Province

"Mom’s…is an energetic, thoughtful, funny show” ~Jo Ledingham, Vancouver Courier

“The creators of Mom’s the Word 2: Unhinged dare to do it all” ~Colin Thomas, Georgia Straight